My Postpartum Weight Loss Journey

After having Ivy, I’m embarrassed to admit I gained 65 pounds.  My whole life I have struggled with my weight and my idea of being ‘inadequate’ . Most of my life, I have flirted between mild anorexia and obesity. I’m 5’8″ and the least I weighed was 118 lbs, and at the peak  was during my 9th month of pregnancy at 224. At my pre-pregnancy weight, I sat a cool 155 trying to loose 5 lbs .

I’ve always tried to take the easy road in everything I do – including my weight. I, of course, used drugs to reach my desired weight. When I was underweight, I thought I looked good, but everyone told me I looked sick. Of course I was, but even now I still think I looked good. That’s how fucked up my mind state is.

Well, after giving birth I only managed to lose 25 of those 70 pounds, and the scale stared back at me with the same number day after day, week after week, until I finally decided I needed to do something about it. I need to do it right because (at the time) I was breastfeeding and there would be absolutely no drugs, weight loss drugs, throwing up, or starvation this time. I was going to do it right, and I made the commitment to my daughter and myself to get in shape and pay not attention to the number.

I started with daily walks, the gym here and there and watching what I ate and now I’m making more time and the most of my gym time.  I’ve also started this:

Yes, that’s also my Instagram

I’m currently on day 8 and in combination with my 30 minute daily walk and gym (when I can spare a quarter tank of gas AND get my mom to babysit) I can feel and see a difference. I’m firmer, and I feel better. I know it is different this time.

I haven’t see much difference on the scale since I had my epiphany, but that’s okay. I went from not being able to do a single squat, plank, push up, or crunch and only 4 miles in 35 minutes to 8.35 miles in the same amount of time. I know it’s working and even though my scale say’s I have ONLY lost 3 pounds in 3 weeks, I know I’m doing good and pretty soon that the muscle that we all know weighs more than fat, will start to out weigh the fat.

Namaste.

*Almost* 6 week update: Ivy

Ivy was thankfully born very healthy, but at her 2 week appointment, she still was almost a pound under birth weight, and as I had been exclusively breastfeeding — I felt horrible. I had her attached to me the entire time and did everything I was supposed to, and she still weighed under. It was recommended to drain my breasts, pump, then give 2 oz of formula after. I obliged, and after talking to my sister she informed me that introducing formula was the wrong thing to do. I soon realized that it definitely was. I quickly did everything I possibly could to regain my milk supply and was almost there until Ivy got sick.

She ended up having a viral infection when she was  just 16 days old, and we did have to stay in the hospital for 48 hours while after she got a spinal tap and many other tests to see why she had a 105 degree temperature. Those two days were the most she has ever cried. It broke my heart, but I’m so happy it was not meningitis. During this time, she really needed strength to help her fight it off, and was forced to reintroduce formula to keep up with her recovery.

Ivy recovered, and is a healthy combo fed baby, and I can’t seem to get away from the formula. I officially decided to give in and allow both. There is absolutely nothing wrong with formula fed babies. I was formula fed, and I don’t think it affected me in a negative way — at all. I just wanted to be able to say that I did it, but after numerous visits to visit my lactation consultant, and bottles of blessed thistle and fenugreek, and boxes of mothers milk, my supply doesn’t satisfy her anymore. I want  happy healthy baby and having her on as a combo fed does that.

Last week, she weighed 9 pounds and grew an inch, and that is exactly what I wanted to hear!

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Labor story

Whoa, it’s been awhile! I’m so sorry about that being a single mom has been pretty exhausting. So I’ve needless to say have been a little bit preoccupied and have neglected my blog for almost 6 weeks…But I’m back! I wanted to share my labor because I  have been extremely lucky, and it certainly was a very pivotal memory I never want to forget.

My labor was just as easy as my pregnancy, and I could not feel more blessed. I began to have period like cramps and abnormal bleeding at 3 am. I never had a contraction — just cramps!

I finally made my way to the hospital around noon to discover my 4 cm dilation that I had been walking around with for a couple of weeks grew to 6.5. I had flirted with idea of going natural, and at the time, I knew that if I ever wanted go that route, this labor would have been the one. I could walk around fine, with little pain, but my mistake was going to the hospital; they wouldn’t let me walk around, and they wanted me hooked up to the monitor constantly — even though she was perfectly healthy. So I decided to opt for the epidural.

I have done a lot of drugs in my life and getting the eppie was VERY enjoyable!! I didn’t even feel like I was in labor, but unfortunately, the epidural stalled my labor 7.5 cm so they gave me pitocin around 7 pm. I didn’t care though because I was in no pain. The nurses asked if I felt her transition, and I seriously couldn’t feel 75% of my body,  and when she checked my dilation around 7:45 her eyes grew large and she looked at me, chuckled and said, “She has a full head of hair. You’re ready to push.”

Once my OB showed up I pushed 3  times, and after 4 minutes a second degree tear, I gave birth to my beautiful little girl!

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Ivy Rebel Rose

7lbs 8oz

June 4th

7:58 PM