Category Archives: Opinion

Birthday wishes

Yesterday was my birthday, and I was shocked and frankly a little offended that 3 of my closest friends posted ‘Happy Birthday!!” on my Facebook wall and that was it. Of course, I’m grateful they acknowledged my birthday, but at least shoot me a text. It was very faux pas.

Here’s my list of impersonal birthday wishes in the order of sucky:

  1. Happy birthday post on Facebook or other public social media
  2. Happy birthday message on Facebook or any social media
  3. Happy birthday text
  4. Happy birthday call
  5. Happy birthday in person
  6. Happy birthday in person with presents

Okay, obviously that last one is very rare. If you’re close with someone at least shoot them a text.

My Postpartum Weight Loss Journey

After having Ivy, I’m embarrassed to admit I gained 65 pounds.  My whole life I have struggled with my weight and my idea of being ‘inadequate’ . Most of my life, I have flirted between mild anorexia and obesity. I’m 5’8″ and the least I weighed was 118 lbs, and at the peak  was during my 9th month of pregnancy at 224. At my pre-pregnancy weight, I sat a cool 155 trying to loose 5 lbs .

I’ve always tried to take the easy road in everything I do – including my weight. I, of course, used drugs to reach my desired weight. When I was underweight, I thought I looked good, but everyone told me I looked sick. Of course I was, but even now I still think I looked good. That’s how fucked up my mind state is.

Well, after giving birth I only managed to lose 25 of those 70 pounds, and the scale stared back at me with the same number day after day, week after week, until I finally decided I needed to do something about it. I need to do it right because (at the time) I was breastfeeding and there would be absolutely no drugs, weight loss drugs, throwing up, or starvation this time. I was going to do it right, and I made the commitment to my daughter and myself to get in shape and pay not attention to the number.

I started with daily walks, the gym here and there and watching what I ate and now I’m making more time and the most of my gym time.  I’ve also started this:

Yes, that’s also my Instagram

I’m currently on day 8 and in combination with my 30 minute daily walk and gym (when I can spare a quarter tank of gas AND get my mom to babysit) I can feel and see a difference. I’m firmer, and I feel better. I know it is different this time.

I haven’t see much difference on the scale since I had my epiphany, but that’s okay. I went from not being able to do a single squat, plank, push up, or crunch and only 4 miles in 35 minutes to 8.35 miles in the same amount of time. I know it’s working and even though my scale say’s I have ONLY lost 3 pounds in 3 weeks, I know I’m doing good and pretty soon that the muscle that we all know weighs more than fat, will start to out weigh the fat.


*Almost* 6 week update: Ivy

Ivy was thankfully born very healthy, but at her 2 week appointment, she still was almost a pound under birth weight, and as I had been exclusively breastfeeding — I felt horrible. I had her attached to me the entire time and did everything I was supposed to, and she still weighed under. It was recommended to drain my breasts, pump, then give 2 oz of formula after. I obliged, and after talking to my sister she informed me that introducing formula was the wrong thing to do. I soon realized that it definitely was. I quickly did everything I possibly could to regain my milk supply and was almost there until Ivy got sick.

She ended up having a viral infection when she was  just 16 days old, and we did have to stay in the hospital for 48 hours while after she got a spinal tap and many other tests to see why she had a 105 degree temperature. Those two days were the most she has ever cried. It broke my heart, but I’m so happy it was not meningitis. During this time, she really needed strength to help her fight it off, and was forced to reintroduce formula to keep up with her recovery.

Ivy recovered, and is a healthy combo fed baby, and I can’t seem to get away from the formula. I officially decided to give in and allow both. There is absolutely nothing wrong with formula fed babies. I was formula fed, and I don’t think it affected me in a negative way — at all. I just wanted to be able to say that I did it, but after numerous visits to visit my lactation consultant, and bottles of blessed thistle and fenugreek, and boxes of mothers milk, my supply doesn’t satisfy her anymore. I want  happy healthy baby and having her on as a combo fed does that.

Last week, she weighed 9 pounds and grew an inch, and that is exactly what I wanted to hear!

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Wisdom teeth-ouch!!

Maybe the added calcium I’ve been consuming has added to the sudden appearance of my bottom wisdom teeth. My top came in just fine after I turned 20, there wasn’t even much pain. Unfortunately, my lower jaw did not make enough premeditated room for my remaining wisdom teeth. I have been experiencing mild headaches that I chalked up to my pregnancy, but yesterday I noticed my bottom teeth coming in. The strange thing is that the gums don’t hurt, just some residual effects of the sudden appearance.

One looks like it’s coming in fine and the other looks like it’s coming in crooked. I know what you’re thinking: see a dentist. I have only been to a dentist three times in my entire life. Once was for an emergency extraction which took place in Juarez, Mexico, another was when I was 15 for a check up and last time was a  jailhouse check up. They all said I had perfectly healthy teeth, especially considering my lack of dental health check-ups.

My brother, who has just turned 44 went to the dentist recently after not going after 20 years and was told he had all four wisdom teeth, and they were the only ones with cavities-he was also told he had a bullet lodged in his chin that doctors couldn’t find after getting shot at, but that’s another story.  My dad has two cavities and my mom has three-out of my entire intermediate family!

Thankfully, milk was my dentist, and I was lucky to have been blessed with good genes and with enough of the proper nutrition!

Update-Ivy’s nursery

To be honest, I don’t really feel like a mother yet, and I’m not. A lot of people think that just because they are expecting that automatically makes them a mother, and I disagree. A mother, to me, is a women who gives birth and raises her child the best of her abilities, sacrificing many aspects of what she enjoys and imprinting her wisdom and life experiences. To Merriam-Webster they define mother not as eloquently and is vague.

As a soon-to-be-mother, I want to do a good job. I want to give her everything! Unfortunately, my financial situation is not where I would like it to be at this point in my life– especially when I’m expecting a new life! I still wanted to make a nice enjoyable space for my Ivy Rose, and I am almost finished!

This is what I have so far, sure it’s not the fanciest and pales when you see some women’s nursery, but I love it!


How to loose a friend in 10 years

I moved a lot growing up. A lot. I’ve been to 17 different schools in my life, including college. I also grew up an only child. As a result, I would say my childhood was very lonely, and I believe that leaves a lasting affect on the personality.

I always thought that I was a good person and friend. I still believe that–deep down. When you get so heavily involved in drugs, you loose yourself. No matter how much you try to deny it; you are just lying yourself in the end. I was looking through my old photos and realized how many people I called my ‘best friends’ or my ‘bffl’ that most I don’t even speak to anymore. They will all have a lasting place in my heart because they taught me something about myself I wouldn’t of learned otherwise, but when I think of how we ended our ‘best’ status, it was always my decision.

My best friends:

Michael P.


We were so close and he was easily my greatest friend and the most toxic. Even when he moved to Baltimore after he got into serious legal trouble in NM we kept in touch. We met in high school when I was 16 or 17.

I visited for spring break 2014 for 4 days.Worst trip ever. He was still a serious addict and was so mean and volatile and and was actually working for the police as a snitch. No way…no matter how long I’ve been sober and out of trouble, I don’t fuck with that

Jade B.


My other best friend. I met in when I was 15 and we were inseparable until I got out of the hospital in 2010 and found out she was on a very different path than I wanted to go down again and out of anger because she didn’t want to kick with me all crippled, I lashed out and cut our friendship. We talk now, but she’s more of an acquaintance. She’s doing super good and I’m super proud. 🙂

Brittney B.


This is the only person who chose not to be MY FRIEND over my attitude and baggage. Go her. I miss her though. We followed each other to 4 different jobs after high school.

Courtney E.


I loved this girl, I finally felt like I had a real friend who understood me and we connected instantly and we had something good until I broke the unbreakable girl code rule # 1.

Long story short, I fucked up on a lot of friendships and these can never be salvaged again, and I never want to make those same mistakes with my friendships I currently still have.

Birdman: Or The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance–Review

As movie goers  all know the 2015 Oscar for Best Picture went to Birdman: Or The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance. Every year, I wait to see what critics are saying deem worthy of a nomination and who takes the grand prize. It also won Best Director for Alejandro González Iñárritu. Best Original Screenplay and Best Cinematography This year, the Academy disappointed me once again.

I Redbox-ed this film, I went home and began watching it on my laptop. I fell asleep 40 minutes in. That should of been my first clue. The film dragged on, and I repeatedly checked the remaining time. I was questioning if his visions were fantasy or not, which turned out to be exactly what the writers and director was trying to accomplish by the conclusion. I also thought Edward Norton’s performance was far more Oscar worthy than Michael Keaton’s. I truly believe everyone in the business favored this film because they had ties.

The most worthy Oscar win with no question was Best Cinematography. The lighting, special affects and graphics were spot on and mesmerizing, but I really think other films were more adequate for the title of Best Picture.

Different stokes different folks, but I hated this film. Check it out for yourself though.

What to do??

Everywhere I go, everyone speaks of this ‘Pintrest‘. I first signed up for it a year ago and stared at it blankly. I really didn’t see the point of it, until recently when my friend said she started a Pintrest for her bridal party to exchange ideas. I am not part of the bridal shower, but once they couldn’t stop talking about how great it was, I began to ask myself, “Am I missing something?”

I decided to try it again and by golly, after I put some time in teaching myself the ropes, I began to fall truly, madly, deeply in love! I pinned everything from new recipes, funny memes, e-cards, DIY crafts and home remedies, decor, face masks, nail designs, yoga poses, you name it you can find it on Pintrest. Very excited!

SnapChat, I’m still confused about though haha

Spring Break

I feel my life has been so hectic lately. I’m not doing hardly as much as other mothers or mothers to be, but school and life in general has had me preoccupied and in conjunction with my much anticipated new baby I feel really busy. It doesn’t help that I’ve had to dedicate extra 3+ hours to sleep a day to maintain sanity and happiness!

I can see how many can neglect relationships and responsibilities when you are expecting. Life seems to run away from you as you’re preparing for a permanent change in your life. I really wanted to take on as much school as I could, finalize as many purchases as I could, and be involved in family and friends as I could.

Unfortunately, I fell drastically behind in most of my duties! Ugh! That’s okay, because that’s why Spring Break was invented! Being the Virgo I am, I devised a plan to accomplish most to all of my duties. This means I made a list of my goals.

Why do I make lists of things?

I like to be inspired to do something when I have set a reward for myself once I have accomplished it. My daily lists are currently rewarded by an episode or two of House of Cards.

I’m dying to know what happened next!

Here are some tips I follow when I start a list:

  1. Think short term and long term. Daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, ect.
  2. Don’t be afraid to set seemingly impossible. If it seems to be too much, set shorter term goals to help gain more momentum and experience for the bigger goal. Saving in longer stretches to be able to go to on a dream vacation.
  3. Write it down! This is big for me. Sometimes I have so many aspirations that I get lost in my own mental lists and forget a lot of stuff.
  4. If you are uninspired to complete tasks that give little to no satisfaction or even one that isn’t instant gratification, give yourself something you really want a your favorite meal, a new outfit even some ice cream to drive you to accomplish the more daunting tasks. Or if your like me, Netflix.

Screenshot 2015-03-22 14.58.53

I just wanted to share some of my tips, it’s probably nothing you haven’t heard before, but I know sometimes I need to be reminded from time to time.

If my tips suck check out one I was inspired by Virgin Mobile founder Richard Branson. Google also just gave me the great idea of using Excel next time! How lame am I that I’m excited to actually have purpose for my Excel now?

Happy tasking!!

What’s in a name?: How I named my first child

I started debating my impending child’s name as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I wish I could take it back because like I have admitted in a previous blog — I was convinced that I would give birth to Alexander Oz. 

When I found out I was having a daughter, I searched through names and had originally thought Lyric Monroe would be something I’d name my first daughter. However, the more I said it I realized that she wasn’t a Lyric. It searched over my 3 girl names I had searched and felt no connection.

To add to my hesitant feelings, my two best friends both agreed it sounded a bit too ethnic, and ethnic is probably not the correct adjective used to describe a child shared between a blue eyed, red-head and a Mother with a mild sun allergy who had been described, in fun, as a wearing “liquid paper” instead of face make-up.

A week after my gender reveal, I woke up and knew I was going to have a baby girl named Ivy. It was interesting enough to be considered ‘different’, yet practical enough to not worry about school yard teasing, perplexed looks, nor lack of future employment. It’s simple and clean with no ‘unique’ spellings like Ivee or Eyevee, that I personally find as unnecessary and annoying, but obviously that’s honestly my personal opinion! Different strokes for different folks!

It took me an additional month to decide on the middle name. I loved Lyric and Monroe so much, but I decided on Rose. Rosemary is my favorite aunt, so that added to my final decision as was the fact that Ivy and Rose are both present in nature. If it grows, it goes!

What I recommend to consider when naming a child (maybe even a pet!):

  • Can you picture yourself saying this name on a daily basis in all emotions?
    “Ivy, will you clean your room, please?”
    “Ivy! Stop hitting the dog!”
    “Good morning, Ivy!”
  • Does the full name flow how you would like it?
  • Is there a reason your child could be made fun of, is it appropriate?
    Ben Dover, Anita Bath, Dixon Hand.
  • Think beyond into adult hood.  It’s a nasty truth, but studies have revealed that employers were more likely to hire more Anglo-Saxon sounding names. 

Hopefully this helps in your search for the perfect name.

Until then, can’t wait until I meet my daughter, Ivy Rose .