Category Archives: Pregnancy

My Postpartum Weight Loss Journey

After having Ivy, I’m embarrassed to admit I gained 65 pounds.  My whole life I have struggled with my weight and my idea of being ‘inadequate’ . Most of my life, I have flirted between mild anorexia and obesity. I’m 5’8″ and the least I weighed was 118 lbs, and at the peak  was during my 9th month of pregnancy at 224. At my pre-pregnancy weight, I sat a cool 155 trying to loose 5 lbs .

I’ve always tried to take the easy road in everything I do – including my weight. I, of course, used drugs to reach my desired weight. When I was underweight, I thought I looked good, but everyone told me I looked sick. Of course I was, but even now I still think I looked good. That’s how fucked up my mind state is.

Well, after giving birth I only managed to lose 25 of those 70 pounds, and the scale stared back at me with the same number day after day, week after week, until I finally decided I needed to do something about it. I need to do it right because (at the time) I was breastfeeding and there would be absolutely no drugs, weight loss drugs, throwing up, or starvation this time. I was going to do it right, and I made the commitment to my daughter and myself to get in shape and pay not attention to the number.

I started with daily walks, the gym here and there and watching what I ate and now I’m making more time and the most of my gym time.  I’ve also started this:

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Yes, that’s also my Instagram

I’m currently on day 8 and in combination with my 30 minute daily walk and gym (when I can spare a quarter tank of gas AND get my mom to babysit) I can feel and see a difference. I’m firmer, and I feel better. I know it is different this time.

I haven’t see much difference on the scale since I had my epiphany, but that’s okay. I went from not being able to do a single squat, plank, push up, or crunch and only 4 miles in 35 minutes to 8.35 miles in the same amount of time. I know it’s working and even though my scale say’s I have ONLY lost 3 pounds in 3 weeks, I know I’m doing good and pretty soon that the muscle that we all know weighs more than fat, will start to out weigh the fat.

Namaste.

It’s my due date!

So, I figured being a first time mother it would take a while to go into labor. As I write this, I will be past my due date in 10 minutes. I’ve had a near great pregnancy and the last few weeks were a change because I felt kind of crappy. The past couple nights I finally have slept and started feeling a bit peppier as far as being more energized, but even simple things as walking to the nearest store resulted in a 3 hour nap.

I’m okay with this because after everything I have read, this could single my body preparing itself for labor…maybe not. I’m nervous about meeting my little girl, yet excited. It’s going to happen and I know she will be the best thing that will ever happen to me. Plus I want to get the pain over with!

Update-Ivy’s nursery

To be honest, I don’t really feel like a mother yet, and I’m not. A lot of people think that just because they are expecting that automatically makes them a mother, and I disagree. A mother, to me, is a women who gives birth and raises her child the best of her abilities, sacrificing many aspects of what she enjoys and imprinting her wisdom and life experiences. To Merriam-Webster they define mother not as eloquently and is vague.

As a soon-to-be-mother, I want to do a good job. I want to give her everything! Unfortunately, my financial situation is not where I would like it to be at this point in my life– especially when I’m expecting a new life! I still wanted to make a nice enjoyable space for my Ivy Rose, and I am almost finished!

This is what I have so far, sure it’s not the fanciest and pales when you see some women’s nursery, but I love it!

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Let the nesting begin!!!

As I mentioned in a previous post, I dedicated my spring break to classic spring cleaning/organizing/prepping for my daughter Ivy Rose, getting ahead in my homework, and much needed me time getting as much sleep as humanly possible.

I actually was lucky in the sleeping aspect of my entire pregnancy because of late classes my first trimester, winter break for the start of my second trimester, massive amount of snow days towards the end of my second and beginning of my third, and thankfully spring break. I got much needed rest during those days and now I have about 5 weeks left, including finals.

I was thankful I let myself have a weeks to organize and deep clean the space that Ivy will be in contact with in her first days and rearranged furniture for optimal space. In pre-pregnancy this would have taken me about a day, max a day and a half, but as I quick found out standing longer than 20 minutes was nearly impossible! It took me 3 days! I’m very proud of it how it turned out.

I even began my Ivy wall decor and discovered that I really enjoy doing arts and crafts, and it’s a great way to de-stress and pass time! Thanks Pintrest for additional ideas of things I could make!

35 weeks

Now that I have 4-6 weeks before I’m supposed to meet my beautiful daughter, Ivy Rose, I’ve can proudly say I am blessed because I have not had any of the common complaints that you often hear regarding pregnancy. Up until now, I had mild bouts of prego symptoms, but nothing that would be the reason for me to say that I never want to be pregnant again.

Two days ago,I think my body finally started to realize it was responsible for having a healthy, growing baby girl housed inside of it and it was the major provider of her nourishment and her protection and it would need to prepare for her to exit. I all of a sudden started to be able to feel the Braxton Hicks contractions, my mid to lower back is constantly achy, I am nauseous and congested. I’ve had tummy aches and been excessively irritable and EXHAUSTED.

As I write this, the words blur on the screen due to lack of sleep. I just have to make it through this week and two days of finals next week and I’ll be able to rest and nest before her arrival!!

I CAN’T WAIT!!

How my life has changed in the past 18 months:

  • I moved to Arkansas from Albuquerque, New Mexico
  • I got off hard drugs
  • I stopped drinking
  • I stopped smoking
  • I got pregnant

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  • I became okay with not being a size 0
  • I became okay with not being a size 9 after I got pregnant
  • I became okay with going over 200 lbs since I moved and got pregnant

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  • I became okay with the fact that most of my weight is baby related and I will bounce back
  • I became determined to finish school–NO MATTER WHAT
  • I became okay with being single and pregnant
  • I became okay with not having many friends
  • I finally can honestly say don’t care what people think or say about me
  • Goals take time, sacrifice  and dedication, it doesn’t fall into your lap (usually)
  • I am ready to ‘settle down’ and move on with these changes

I don’t recognize myself sometimes, but that’s okay! Let’s see what the next 18 ,months have to offer!!

The worst preggo everyday crisis:Not really just a vent


Lunch rolls around and I quickly notice I completely forgot my wallet!! I never leave my wallet at home, but of course the one day I really need it… Too bad I moved 40 minutes away from school so running to go and get my wallet was out of the question.

Anyway, when I get this hungry during my pregnancy I grow extremely irritable and get a horrible headache. How was I going to eat?

This got me thinking: maybe if I wasn’t so self involved I would have more friends and could have called on someone to spot me a dollar or two for a quick bite or even ask them to spot me a meal. Either way, this is my main motivation to let my guard down and allow myself to make friends…le sigh.

Soo hungry…