Karma

I used to have a bit of stealing problem back in Albuquerque, and when I moved to Arkansas I vowed not to do it again.I haven’t, but I’ve gotten close to do it and really close last week.

I’ve been super paranoid about being a new single mother, I often worry about my money situation. I went grocery shopping and I ran out of money at the self checkout. I thought to myself: “you could easily steal from here. No one would suspect you.”

Last minute, my conscious got the better of me and I returned a six pack of sparkling water and a mini pomegranate tea. The tea was on sale for a.99 cents and It seems so silly because I wasn’t dying of thirst! I returned it to the lady with a “I spaced, I can’t afford to buy these. Here you go…” I walked away and the lady chased me down and gave me the tea and said it was on her.

I was so touched and it reaffirmed that being a good person don’t always go unnoticed. 🙂

How to loose a friend in 10 years

I moved a lot growing up. A lot. I’ve been to 17 different schools in my life, including college. I also grew up an only child. As a result, I would say my childhood was very lonely, and I believe that leaves a lasting affect on the personality.

I always thought that I was a good person and friend. I still believe that–deep down. When you get so heavily involved in drugs, you loose yourself. No matter how much you try to deny it; you are just lying yourself in the end. I was looking through my old photos and realized how many people I called my ‘best friends’ or my ‘bffl’ that most I don’t even speak to anymore. They will all have a lasting place in my heart because they taught me something about myself I wouldn’t of learned otherwise, but when I think of how we ended our ‘best’ status, it was always my decision.

My best friends:

Michael P.

We were so close and he was easily my greatest friend and the most toxic. Even when he moved to Baltimore after he got into serious legal trouble in NM we kept in touch. We met in high school when I was 16 or 17.

I visited for spring break 2014 for 4 days.Worst trip ever. He was still a serious addict and was so mean and volatile and and was actually working for the police as a snitch. No way…no matter how long I’ve been sober and out of trouble, I don’t fuck with that

Jade B.

My other best friend. I met in when I was 15 and we were inseparable until I got out of the hospital in 2010 and found out she was on a very different path than I wanted to go down again and out of anger because she didn’t want to kick with me all crippled, I lashed out and cut our friendship. We talk now, but she’s more of an acquaintance. She’s doing super good and I’m super proud. 🙂

Brittney B.

This is the only person who chose not to be MY FRIEND over my attitude and baggage. Go her. I miss her though. We followed each other to 4 different jobs after high school.

Courtney E.

I loved this girl, I finally felt like I had a real friend who understood me and we connected instantly and we had something good until I broke the unbreakable girl code rule # 1.

Long story short, I fucked up on a lot of friendships and these can never be salvaged again, and I never want to make those same mistakes with my friendships I currently still have.

The awkward growth of Christine

I was looking through the few pictures my parents had stashed away awhile back and discovered a gold-mind of my awkward progression through the years.  It starts off with endearing picture baby pageant picture (which I won 1st place because my dad had enough money to buy it the trophy) and ends with my 3rd grade picture which makes me look like I’m already 15.

10 year  would be embarrassed, but I think I was just a classic case of ugly duckling syndrome with a touch of eating my feelings. I don’t think there is anything to be embarrassed of be able to admit that I was not the cutest kid on the block AT THE TIME!