Whoa, it’s been awhile! I’m so sorry about that being a single mom has been pretty exhausting. So I’ve needless to say have been a little bit preoccupied and have neglected my blog for almost 6 weeks…But I’m back! I wanted to share my labor because I have been extremely lucky, and it certainly was a very pivotal memory I never want to forget.
My labor was just as easy as my pregnancy, and I could not feel more blessed. I began to have period like cramps and abnormal bleeding at 3 am. I never had a contraction — just cramps!
I finally made my way to the hospital around noon to discover my 4 cm dilation that I had been walking around with for a couple of weeks grew to 6.5. I had flirted with idea of going natural, and at the time, I knew that if I ever wanted go that route, this labor would have been the one. I could walk around fine, with little pain, but my mistake was going to the hospital; they wouldn’t let me walk around, and they wanted me hooked up to the monitor constantly — even though she was perfectly healthy. So I decided to opt for the epidural.
I have done a lot of drugs in my life and getting the eppie was VERY enjoyable!! I didn’t even feel like I was in labor, but unfortunately, the epidural stalled my labor 7.5 cm so they gave me pitocin around 7 pm. I didn’t care though because I was in no pain. The nurses asked if I felt her transition, and I seriously couldn’t feel 75% of my body, and when she checked my dilation around 7:45 her eyes grew large and she looked at me, chuckled and said, “She has a full head of hair. You’re ready to push.”
Once my OB showed up I pushed 3 times, and after 4 minutes a second degree tear, I gave birth to my beautiful little girl!
Ivy Rebel Rose
- I moved to Arkansas from Albuquerque, New Mexico
- I got off hard drugs
- I stopped drinking
- I stopped smoking
- I got pregnant
- I became okay with not being a size 0
- I became okay with not being a size 9 after I got pregnant
- I became okay with going over 200 lbs since I moved and got pregnant
- I became okay with the fact that most of my weight is baby related and I will bounce back
- I became determined to finish school–NO MATTER WHAT
- I became okay with being single and pregnant
- I became okay with not having many friends
- I finally can honestly say don’t care what people think or say about me
- Goals take time, sacrifice and dedication, it doesn’t fall into your lap (usually)
- I am ready to ‘settle down’ and move on with these changes
I don’t recognize myself sometimes, but that’s okay! Let’s see what the next 18 ,months have to offer!!
You know what is really irritating about the parental community? How everyone thinks they can judge anyone else for a parental choice they decide to make about their own kid! (Obviously unless it’s concerning abuse or neglect of ANY kind.)
Now, I am willing to take any advice anywhere I can get it about becoming a great, single mother, but just because you’ve been a parent a little longer doesn’t give you the right to judge me or anyone else for their choices. Not everyone has the same parental skills or lack their of, not everyone is rolling in money to buy their kid a new toy every other day or can afford to have a parent to stay at home. Not everyone was lucky enough to get married and start a family, not everyone makes the same choices, decisions or has the same beliefs. Not everyone can predict what kind of personality their child will have or what kid of special attention he or she needs. No one is born a parent, I don’t care how many books you read you won’t know until you have one.
I’ll be the first to admit, my situation of being a 25 single mom and a full time student with a pending full time job is less than ideal. This is not how I saw my life going. This is not how I wanted to become a mother. My plan was always career, relationships then family, well guess what judgy parents? Nothing always goes according to plan!
Sure, I’m not rolling in dough…Scratch that, I’m in fact rolling in bills and debt. However, I’m carrying a child, and granted I’m still new to the idea, but I know what it takes to survive. My whole life has been based on survival.
If ended up being faced with a hungry child, and no money I know I have dedication to make sure that she doesn’t go unfed. I have a huge heart, and sorry I probably won’t be able to afford luxuries like extravagant birthday parties, but you won’t find anyone more determined to give love, roof, full tummy, and jokes along the way.
Never tell anyone how to raise there child! ‘Right way’ is relative.
Do you, I’ll do me.
End rant. ❤
About a week and a half ago, I realized my monthly visitor was late by 5 days. Instead of panicking, I blew it off and continued my daily routine. My monthly visitor has been in my life more than half my life, so I know it and my body really well. I rationalized it as just a stress. It would come.
If you’re a girl, you are familiar with PMS symptoms such as stomach cramps and tender breasts. Then about mid-week, I weighed myself and sure enough, I gained 7 lbs. I justified this by saying , “muscle weighs more than fat.”
Friday, I couldn’t even shower without unbearable pain shooting from my upper girl bits. I was getting ready to go to my parents home to work on my brakes with my dad, which I did. My dad said, “Christine, it looks like you’ve gained weight in your face. Don’t you think Momma?”
I was horrified because if you haven’t figured it out by now, I concluded that I was pregnant. After taking 7 separate tests, all of different varieties and prices. I was positive, without fail, each time. No faint, half lines or maybes. I am pregnant with a man I don’t remember his name that I slept with to ease the pain of my best friend’s mother passing away. September 6, 2014 some guy and I made a baby, and I’m going to be a mom, and he’s going to be a father and he won’t even know.
I couldn’t be more excited.
Love, peace, chicken grease…
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